My Walk with God

This afternoon when I checked my email, I had a message from a friend asking me a question. How do we learn to seek God and trust Him? As I prayed about this question, God spoke to me that I needed to share my story, my walk with God, and in doing this I might just come up with some answers to this question. If you don’t love yourself how can you allow God to love you? If you cannot see what a great creation you are and how wonderful a plan God has for your life, how can you allow God to love you? Jesus tells us that we should love our neighbors as ourselves. But if we don’t love ourselves, how are we going to love anyone? How are we going to let God’s love shine through us if we think we are worthless and can do nothing? I know I need to get on with the story. Where do I start with a story that God has been in charge of since the day I was born. You do know that God knew you when you were in your mother’s womb? There is no one that is an accident; God has a plan for each one of us.

I was raised in the church. Made to go to church every time the doors were open, I know that this sounds like some of you. When I got older I had no use for the church. I was like John the Baptist, “But when he saw the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to his baptism, he said to them, Brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come?” (Matthew 3:7) I know there are good people in the church, but all I saw was the people that were Sunday Christians. I became part of the world and rebelled against everything. As Paul says, I was the chief of sinners. I did not care. God has a way of bringing us lost sheep back to where we should be. My sister-in-law had cancer and went to be with God. She was more to me than a sister-in-law. I loved her as a sister. I lost a very important person in my life. After this I knew I had to change my life. I did not know what God had in store for me as I gave my heart to Jesus. My walk with God was going to become the greatest adventure of my life.

We moved to Colorado to attend Bible College. I had some of the greatest and most Godly professors that anyone could be blessed with, but I had my doubts about God and about my calling to serve God. At breaks I would walk around campus and my prayer was Lord, what am I doing here. I just did not understand it all and I truly did not buy all that I was being taught. I just went along with the program. As I look back now to those days, I know that God knew what was happening in my life and my doubts were fine with God. We do not hide anything from God. My years in Colorado were years of growth in my walk with God. The turning point in my walk with God came at a healing seminar with Sharon Cruse. I will never forget the feeling of God and His love for me when Sharon told us to close our eyes and hug ourselves as hard as we could. At first I though this is ridiculous. How was this going to help anything? Then the Spirit of God filled my heart and He told me that I needed His healing and that I needed to love myself because He loved me so much.

The next step in God’s plan for my healing was reading a book, “The Transformation of the Inner Man” by John and Paula Sanford. At that time God told me that He was going to heal all of my wounds, but it was going to take time and that my ministry was to be a ministry of healing. Most people when you say a ministry of healing they think that you lay hands on people and they are instantly healed. No, my friends, our wounds are not healed instantly, I wish they could be. God’s ways are not our ways. God heals us of our wounds as He brings our wounds to the surface only when we are ready to face them. We moved back to Alabama and I got out of the ministry. I just was not ready to face the wounds that God wanted to heal. At the time I did not know this but God did.

Several years ago, God told me that it was time to get back in the ministry, which He called me to do and I needed to work on my healing. The key to seeking God is enduring, looking for God when you don’t even see him there or feel Him. “…but he who endures to the end will be saved.” (Matthew 10:22) This is not the end of my story about my walk with God. I feel that I have many more adventures to travel on with God and I know that I still have a long way to go before I am completely healed. I may not ever be completely healed, but I know as I learn to walk closer to God the walk becomes more glorious and I love God more and more. One thing that I have learned is we should hold our worldly goods loosely. I know this is hard to do, but we need to realize that on this earth we own nothing, it all belongs to God.

“And in them the prophecy of Isaiah is fulfilled, which says: ‘Hearing you will hear and not understand, and seeing you will see and not perceive; for the hearts of this people have grown dull. Their ears are hard of hearing, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, lest they understand with their heart and turn, so that I should heal them.” (Matthew 13:14-15)

Our relationship with God is a personal relationship and no two of us have the same relationship. We all have different wounds that need to be healed. In my walk with God I can only move to that next level when I allow God to heal the wound that He is telling me needs to be healed.My prayer is that God will use my story to bring you closer to God and the peace that passes all understanding.

		Ezekiel Ministry
		Sharing the Light and Love of God to a Dark World



My Walk with God
Print	This afternoon when I checked my email, I had a message from a friend asking me a question. How do we learn to seek God and trust Him? As I prayed about this question, God spoke to me that I needed to share my story, my walk with God, and in doing this I might just come up with some answers to this question. If you don’t love yourself how can you allow God to love you? If you cannot see what a great creation you are and how wonderful a plan God has for your life, how can you allow God to love you? Jesus tells us that we should love our neighbors as ourselves. But if we don’t love ourselves, how are we going to love anyone? How are we going to let God’s love shine through us if we think we are worthless and can do nothing? I know I need to get on with the story. Where do I start with a story that God has been in charge of since the day I was born. You do know that God knew you when you were in your mother’s womb? There is no one that is an accident; God has a plan for each one of us. I was raised in the church. Made to go to church every time the doors were open, I know that this sounds like some of you. When I got older I had no use for the church. I was like John the Baptist, “But when he saw the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to his baptism, he said to them, Brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come?” (Matthew 3:7) I know there are good people in the church, but all I saw was the people that were Sunday Christians. I became part of the world and rebelled against everything. As Paul says, I was the chief of sinners. I did not care. God has a way of bringing us lost sheep back to where we should be. My sister-in-law had cancer and went to be with God. She was more to me than a sister-in-law. I loved her as a sister. I lost a very important person in my life. After this I knew I had to change my life. I did not know what God had in store for me as I gave my heart to Jesus. My walk with God was going to become the greatest adventure of my life. We moved to Colorado to attend Bible College. I had some of the greatest and most Godly professors that anyone could be blessed with, but I had my doubts about God and about my calling to serve God. At breaks I would walk around campus and my prayer was Lord, what am I doing here. I just did not understand it all and I truly did not buy all that I was being taught. I just went along with the program. As I look back now to those days, I know that God knew what was happening in my life and my doubts were fine with God. We do not hide anything from God. My years in Colorado were years of growth in my walk with God. The turning point in my walk with God came at a healing seminar with Sharon Cruse. I will never forget the feeling of God and His love for me when Sharon told us to close our eyes and hug ourselves as hard as we could. At first I though this is ridiculous. How was this going to help anything? Then the Spirit of God filled my heart and He told me that I needed His healing and that I needed to love myself because He loved me so much. The next step in God’s plan for my healing was reading a book, “The Transformation of the Inner Man” by John and Paula Sanford. At that time God told me that He was going to heal all of my wounds, but it was going to take time and that my ministry was to be a ministry of healing. Most people when you say a ministry of healing they think that you lay hands on people and they are instantly healed. No, my friends, our wounds are not healed instantly, I wish they could be. God’s ways are not our ways. God heals us of our wounds as He brings our wounds to the surface only when we are ready to face them. We moved back to Alabama and I got out of the ministry. I just was not ready to face the wounds that God wanted to heal. At the time I did not know this but God did. Several years ago, God told me that it was time to get back in the ministry, which He called me to do and I needed to work on my healing. The key to seeking God is enduring, looking for God when you don’t even see him there or feel Him. “…but he who endures to the end will be saved.” (Matthew 10:22) This is not the end of my story about my walk with God. I feel that I have many more adventures to travel on with God and I know that I still have a long way to go before I am completely healed. I may not ever be completely healed, but I know as I learn to walk closer to God the walk becomes more glorious and I love God more and more. One thing that I have learned is we should hold our worldly goods loosely. I know this is hard to do, but we need to realize that on this earth we own nothing, it all belongs to God. “And in them the prophecy of Isaiah is fulfilled, which says: ‘Hearing you will hear and not understand, and seeing you will see and not perceive; for the hearts of this people have grown dull. Their ears are hard of hearing, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, lest they understand with their heart and turn, so that I should heal them.” (Matthew 13:14-15) Our relationship with God is a personal relationship and no two of us have the same relationship. We all have different wounds that need to be healed. In my walk with God I can only move to that next level when I allow God to heal the wound that He is telling me needs to be healed.My prayer is that God will use my story to bring you closer to God and the peace that passes all understanding.